NEW CAREER BECKONS FORMER ENERGY CHIEF

enron

Former chairman of Enron Corp. has found God. Since the collapse of Enron, Ken or Father Ken as he now likes to be called has found a calling to the clergy or at least revivalist preaching. He and the other directors of Enron have set up The Hallelulja Church of St Gates a somewhat obscure micro saint (we couldn’t find it) whose great works allegedly include a global message which they hope will result in a world wide web of followers. Their message is that all will be saved come the day of judgement if they change their ways and subscribe to the teachings of St Gates. He preached eternal hell and damnation (see left) with absolution guaranteed for a mere $100 a head per month. The revivalist tour kicks off deep in the bible belt where Gates is little known but where fear of hell is strong and dollars flow in like water. Very soon they hope to build a theme park and run their own cable station – in the name of salvation.

ENRON CHIEF DEVASTATED BY COLLAPSE

Enron Chief Kenneth Lay (Left) has been clearly devastated by the collapse of the company. Luckily last year’s take home pay of $150,000,000 dollars has helped cushion that terrible blow. Of course that did include bonuses and stock options etc but still, it’ll go a little way to helping him overcome his evident grief at both the demise of his company and hardship of his work force who on average will recieve $13,000 redundancy pay. The directors of Enron between them divided $744,000,000 just before the collapse of the company. It may not be much but it’ll help them come to terms with being out of work