Since John Precott was caught with his balls in the till and subsequently given lateral promotion by the snivelling little git Tony Blair - too wet and weak to sack him - people have been wondering just what Prescott will do as Deputy Prime Minister now he's effectively "out of a job". Well it seems he's to sit on about 9 committees - that should keep him busy... 'til break - one of which deals with domestic affairs about which he has now got loads of experience one might assume. He will also act as deputy on 7 other committees and claimed that it was double the amount of committees that the previous Deputy Prime Minister Michael Hesletine sat on. Bollocks of course as its a matter of record that Hezza sat on 15 committees.

In the House yesterday, where he received a drubbing at the hands of opposition politicians (Mr Prescott, a politician is "...a person engaged in or concerned with politics, esp. as a practitioner. A person skilled in politics" not a man with two Jags, two homes, two grace and favour residences and a tart on the side - see Oxford Dictionary) Mr Prescott was at pains to make it clear that he no longer had two Jags. Strange? We thought he didn't care if people knew he had two Jags and a large bill for his wife's hair dresser.

Is Prezza losing his confidence. Is the old bully now finding out what it's like to have bigger kids pick on him. Ooh, I do hope so. Maybe the Prime Minister should give him a job in the House of Commons Cafeteria too, cleaning tables and washing dishes. It would be just like the old days and would give him something to do, plus he could still brag about working at the House of Commons to anyone who would listen, those of whom are now a dwindling number of course.

And finally - I mispelled Prescott at the beginning of this article and the spell checker alternative came up with Erect. Ironic or what!

If the Catholic church had put as much energy into dealing with their slippery fingered, boy fiddling priests as they are now putting into damning the fictional novel, The Da Vinci Code, a lot less young boys would have been traumatised by sexual abuse at the hands of these Catholic disciples over the endless years the Vatican has seen fit to ignore the problem. But they didn't. That is until recently when they realised that such adverse publicity could harm their image. Previously they'd just moved them around from one parish to another where they could start over, molesting other boys. Meanwhile the Cardinals and church officials rant and rave at Ron Howard's current movie of The Da Vinci Code, lest we should all believe the fictional story from the mind of novelist Dan Brown. God forbid (oops) that we should get the idea that the story is true. Yes what we need is a man dressed in a medieval costume telling us - no dictating to us - that we could go to hell for believing that Jesus married the prostitute Mary Magdelene and lived. Well come on it's the sort of thing Jesus would have done. He wouldn't for example have spent his time burning heretics at the stake. But Jeezus, (oops again) that would ruin their previously hyped official line that he was crucified and rose from the dead. Hey wait a minute. Isn't that just a story from the bible.