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BERNARD GUSSET -
AFTERTHOUGHTS (Updated... now and then)
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| STOP PRESS : | |
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LOVE
AND SEX AND KISS AND TELL.....a fable
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| "...when we met it was instant connection and time for more than just a quick mass debate on public transport or privatisation of the railways. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his eyes and suddenly resolution 37 was just a distant memory . I remember, how he put his red box on top of my red box. My red box was hot for his autumn manifesto as he opened up and slid it almost casually into the hollow yearning place. I snapped the lid shut. His eyes flickered momentarily then went glassy as he began to thrust his opinions on me. He thrust and thrust and I just tossed my head back and felt a wave of euphoria sweep over me. I remember shouting at the top of my voice, "...Yes minister oh yes!" Everything was just perfect. Somewhere in the distance a voice shouted "...order! order!..." but I was too absorbed to notice. Later with a brandy and a hot muffin we would just talk. I would gaze into his eyes and watch him push his tongue deep into the warm moist muffin and wonder just how long something this good could last, after all he had a wife. But that was no concern to me. Inside I felt comfortable with it and just knowing how rich I would get when I broke the story years later made feel all warm and toasty inside. For now it was enough to sit and watch him stroking the soft leather lid to my old and well worn box. It made me weak at the knees. Not that it wasn't good for him too, having a trophy bitch on the side. I am considered something of a sex symbol after all. |
 Anyone fancy a Currie? |
| Now of course the bastard says it was the most shameful period of his life. He didn't think that when he had his hand deep inside my red box clumsily fingering my portfolios. Anyway this'll teach the bastard to deny me a more senior position and then not mention me in his autobiography . Honestly, you give a minster a few good blow jobs in the hope of a better position when he gets to be prime minister, then what happens, he makes prime minister and suddenly you're as popular as the gay age of consent bill amendement. What else is a politician to do? The answer - blow the gaff on all of it for a ton of cash which is what if one is honest, it all comes down to." | |
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THE LABOUR PARTY CONFERENCE
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"Now listen very carefully Tone. I've got your balls in my other hand.... do as I say or I'll squeeze them so hard that not even Edwina would want them." "Actually John, I'm surprised you could get much of a grip. G Dubya's hangin' in somewhere and the wife's got the other. Just check and make sure they're not your own." |
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BOTOX - IS IT A SCANDAL! One unsatisfied Botox user gives a surly thumbs down to Botox treatment. "My ears were fine before this. I only did it to please my wife..." says disgruntled Londoner (Right) "Bloody fashion fads. That's the last time I try to keep up with trends. If that wasn't bad enough, my shaver has broken too. It's all too much." |
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