….We left the space blank just in case we offended anybody that wasn’t British and doesn’t speak English.

Here are 10 other ideas to stop the British Nation offending those who come to live in this country from abroad…………………

1. For a start, change the Name Red Cross to Slightly Off Red Blob to avoid offending communists and Christians (We’ll risk offending Blobs)

2. We should stop eating beef to avoid offending Hindus.

3. We should stop eating meat to avoid offending vegetarians

4. We should stop eating pork so we don’t offend Jews and Muslims.

5. Don’t mention the war. We don’t want to offend any Germans

6. All bathing suits should be banned in favour of full body outfits as nudity and displaying flesh is against Islamic faith.

7. Don’t wish anyone happy birthday to avoid offending people trying to forget their age.

8. Don’t say anything rude about Cuckoo clocks to avoid upsetting the Swiss.

9. Always say nice things about Cherie Blair to avoid upsetting Tony

10. Always say nice things about George Dubya Bush to avoid upsetting Tony