THE NEXT REALITY TV – “LET’S MAKE A BABY”

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Yeah so it was just a scam, or an exercise to see how low TV execs would sink to get ratings but they damn near pulled it off. The response from buyers for the show was astounding and people were queuing for a chance to lay and get layed by a complete stranger and ipso facto, make a baby. No its a true story, check it out for yourselves at the BBC News site Just how gross will people be in the pursuit of the two things on offer here. One the money and two the fame. Just how base is the desire to have someone come up and ask for your autograph. To think that at the Cannes TV sales fair the BBC producers who had no intention of going through with the idea were almost swept off their feet by the enthusiasm of other networks eager to sign it up. Bizarre! I mean at the end of all this there’s a baby, a child, a person. Just what would they tell him or her when they were old enough. Yes kid you were the apple of our eye and hey, it made us famous, now shut up and stop annoying us! So just what will they come up with next in the reality scramble for ratings.

What about “Check Out My Dump!” contestants compete to see who has the best formed excrement over a period of two weeks. First one with constipation or diarrhoea is expelled from the latrine. They could have a house shaped like an intestine and fart, wee and poo gags would keep us in fits for hours. They could discuss the merits of their diets and what diet produces the best formed turds. They could freeze dry them and sell them in the gift shop direct to the adoring public hovering outside (where do they find all those idiots who do that on Big Brother, renta-a-clot?) You just gotta brace yourselves because for sure it will have to something gross as the public are getting used to the now very dry boring sameness of the Big Brother house. I know, what about a house full of second rate, over the hill, shop soiled politicians (no shortage of them) where they have to train as gladiators and one by one kill each other until there is only one left. Yeah, I like the sound of that. “I’m Spartacus…” “No I farted first…” Whatever!

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